Reflecting, Christmas and the New Year!

Reflecting, Christmas and the New Year!

I’m sitting in an empty house whilst the rest of my house has either gone home for Christmas already, at uni or at work. It’s that awkward time where if I leave I am undoubtedly going to get stuck in traffic trying to get back to Essex, so I’m waiting to leave a bit later. I cannot wait to get home, I absolutely adore my friends back there and love when we are all reunited. I do like moments like this, time on my own to just let my mind and thoughts wander a bit with some mellow music in the background to put me into my creative cocoon. I've been listening to Josh Record's song 'Bones' on repeat now. It's safe to say I'm absolutely loving this song.

A conversation with someone the other night had them telling me I do not write enough and I guess this is true. I really don’t feel like I have the time to just write about pointless things because every time I write a blog post I start to think about my degree, but then I realise how much I love writing and want to pursue it as a career and I don’t feel as bad. I like the idea of having the ability to stop someone’s normal trail of thought with something I’ve written; to make them look at a situation in a different light or just maybe even inspire them a little (I’d like that). Sure there will be people that read my stuff and feel nothing, or people that don’t even acknowledge a post I create. I can understand the fact it’s not for everyone but all I ever do is be honest and I guess I’m not afraid to write how I feel and show that there’s a deeper side to me. I guess the breaking down of that kind of wall terrifies people, but not me.

Earlier I said goodbye to my friend Alina who has been over from Dusseldorf for a semester which was extremely emotional, more than I thought it would be. I am such a sap sometimes! Goodbyes are always difficult but they are a part of life. It’s been great having her over here and being able to get to know her because unfortunately we didn’t know each other when I was over in Dusseldorf. We constantly said how nice it is to be able to communicate about places that both of us know. Her view of England has made me really appreciate it as a country, even though it can all get on our nerves sometimes. I guess that’s always going to be the case with somewhere you have spent most of your life because although new is good, it will never stay new forever.

I feel this academic year is the chance to make up for lost time, it’s about doing all the things you want to do as you realise your time is coming to an end. It’s about having fun, well as much as you can in third year… In the entire time my housemates and I have lived in this house, which is nearly two years, we have never had a meal with all of us at the same time. Last night we did this for the first time and had a Christmas meal of roast chicken, veg, roast potatoes and all that jazz. We did the full whammy of secret Santa, food, games and a Christmas movie to top it all off! Secret Santa was ridiculously hard to keep a secret. We had so many slip ups with it but nevertheless it still stayed pretty unknown except for when I tried to smartly pick up this piece of paper which I thought was an envelope with the label for my person, then after picking it up realised it was not and was in fact just covering the name…oops. It was just awful luck that the only person to see the name was the person I had for secret Santa. I’m so silly sometimes. We all ended up buying for the person that was buying for us which was a huge coincidence. What are the chances? For once I am feeling quite Christmassy this year which is unusual for me but I’m not complaining.

Housemates minus Suzie who was taking the picture!

Today we had possible new tenants look round the house which was quite strange and a lot of you can probably relate with me on this. Two years in this house has gone so quickly and it’s crazy thinking that this time next year six different tenants will be in our places. It’s weird how attached we have become to our house. I much prefer living separate from my family and I really can’t wait to have my own place one day! I’d definitely say I’m independent, most of the time I don’t mind my own company. It’d be awesome to live with friends again though; I think I’d like that. I guess we’ll just have to see what the future has in store.

I always, always find the end of a semester emotional in many ways. I always become really reflective. The end of an annual year is the end of another chapter of your life. People are always get obsessed with new years’ resolutions and the whole ‘a new year - a new me’, but in reality you can change any time you want to. I read something about this recently and it certainly is true. I don’t know why people feel they have to wait until January of a new year to do something different or give up a habit because it can begin whenever you want it to. I always say I’ll do something like stop eating chocolate, take up a new hobby, lose weight etc and I never stick to it. It’s just that kind of pressure that comes with a new year, although I don’t know why we should feel it. I guess it’s a kind of convergence because everyone is doing it, we feel as if we have to as well. Please for god sake do not talk about how 2014 will be your year though; because every year is your own and any year is what you make of it, the number is totally insignificant. There will always be years which have more positive memories than bad and vice versa. I’m petrified and optimistic at the same time, about the next year just like any other. Although who knows, the next few weeks could make this year the best yet? You never know what’s coming your way. 2013 has already been a pretty spectacular year in my eyes so I can’t complain! On that note I will say one final thing of how I hope everyone has an amazing break from uni and a great Christmas/New Year! I guess I better get packing and stop distracting myself otherwise I will never start!

Take care,

Laura May.