Reflecting On My Time In Duesseldorf So Far

Reflecting On My Time In Duesseldorf So Far

I am a writer. I am a blogger. I am an explorer. I am a rambler – a random rambler. I don’t really have a straight, clear pathway of thought and I work with it for the best creative outcomes that I can hope for. I use my thoughts to my advantage and travel off on a tangent, sometimes it a good thing and sometimes it’s bad however in terms of writing I think it always helps me.

Currently I’m sat making my way through a huge bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with You Me At Six on in the background, procrastinating from doing other things whilst it’s pouring outside. I am hundreds of miles from home, over a month into my four month ‘adventure’. I think it’s time for me to retrospect on the time I have spent here already. 

My god, from the moment you leave your home country and set foot into the unknown the excitement gets pushed aside temporarily when it really dawns on you that everything you were comfortable with is taken away. You are pushed far out of your comfort zone and it takes a few weeks to find your feet again but there are people who try to make that easier. From the first struggle you face, you have to remember there will always be people there to help. Even from the first hurdle of getting myself into my accommodation, after flashing them a few helpless looks, two people from Spain immediately lent a hand and from that sweet gesture I knew that no matter what happened I’d be okay.

More recent unfortunate events such as me having to move out my original room due to an infest of ‘bed bugs’ into a pretty empty and lonely apartment with no furniture, curtains and barely any light has also reinforced this feeling. It’s a typical Laura situation, with Laura’s lack of luck that seems to have got me in this pickle however I know that it’s only momentary and soon everything will be back to normal. Damn I’m pretty used to things not going right but I guess I have always been a person that knows when things go wrong they will eventually get better and to always hold onto hope. Things have been pretty shitty; having just come back from England after struggling to motivate myself to come back and then having to deal with this has made it harder. I always hang onto the words one of my best friends said to me before I went away, ‘No matter what happens remember that it’s only 4 months and in comparison to the rest of your life, that’s nothing’ (or something like that anyway).

Admittedly, one other thing that put me on a downer for a few days was the pure embarrassment I caused for myself last Saturday by getting uncontrollably drunk that I don’t remember anything. I ended up falling over a lot, being stupid and hysterically crying (for no reason) in front of around a dozen people from here. None I knew well enough to feel remotely comfortable being in that state. I wasn’t ready for anyone to see me like that but nonetheless it happened. I know they all will say ‘don’t worry about it, it’s fine’ but it was incredibly stupid of me, however I did drink a whole litre of Vodka so that is the reason why…oh well. Life goes on! I was quite proud that I woke up feeling fine, no hangover, no headache, just a whole lot of cringing and need for food.

Hey! It sounds like I’m not enjoying myself when really I am but this slight hiccup has made the past week a bit rubbish. Really though, I love it here. I love the slight cultural variations from England and how friendly people are, compared to England I feel a lot safer, especially at night when I’m walking back home on my own at god knows when. I don’t think I’d feel quite as safe back in Essex, in fact I know for sure that I wouldn’t. There are some differences that I can’t even explain; I think you just have to experience and feel them yourself. There are silly little things such as how you are allowed to drink on the streets but you can’t cross the road when it’s red otherwise you get fined. Oh and you’re allowed to smoke in a lot of places, especially in bars and things. I don’t like that. My friend dropped her cigarette on me – it fucking killed! Drunk people, dancing and cigarettes is the worst combination imaginable. Speaking of drunk people – I love the nightlife here too, maybe not how late it goes onto as that may slowly kill me however it’s definitely worth it. Weekends in Dusseldorf town are rammed – met a few random characters over the nights. I can’t wait to experience a proper night out in Cologne because that’s supposed to be even better. I’m really not sure how I’m going to cope with the withdrawal symptoms when I get back to Winchester next year…the latest night out is usually 2am there whilst here it’s about 7am. Thankfully Essex is in between.  

Earlier today I was discussing with Jemma about how we’re going to feel at the end of our time here; whether we’d be ready to go home or not want to leave. Right now, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the end of our time in Dusseldorf but only time will tell. I am just going to enjoy every minute of it because all I have ever wanted is to make the most of it.This is a once in a lifetime thing. So for now in the next few weeks I have Amsterdam, Rome, my sister coming to visit and potentially Brussels in July. That’s pretty much enough to keep me happy! 

Take care,

Laura May.